I wish I could express how I feel right now . . .
empty, enraged, depressed, content, apathetic, lonely.

Al these words fit but none of them, not even when there together, are able to define whats going on.
I feel empty because I feel like I've lost who I am and have become someone other than myself.
I am enraged because of the migrain that is beating at my skull like a tribal drum,and the fact that no matter what it refuses to recede.
I am depressed because I am alone, literally no one who would give a damn about my problems is around and thus, depression.
I am content because I have accepted all of these things as current things, current emotions that will lave their mark and fade away becoming only a memory.
I am apathetic because I have lost the will to care anymore, because Ive given up trying to fix myself and my worthlessness.
I am lonely because after all the years of trying to make friends, I remain alone, I am still the freak, the outcast, the wierdo and even in a group of people whom I consider my friends I feel out of place.

This emotional freak is not who I am, "The real me has no name." this quote was used in a hit movie in the 90's and it was overlooked but the meaning in it is deep and sharp; the real me has no name sounds just about right right now since I don't feel like myself at all . . .

I'm going to avoid everyone I know for a while and try to figure a few things out . . .